4th April 2020

I can’t believe it’s been four days since I last posted!!!

It has been a tornado of a week - it’s amazing how much can change in a small space of time.

I feel a bit windswept though in all honesty, I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath.

We got the funding!!!!

Well we got most of it – enough to do a slimmed down version anyways!

Yay!

The group has really started to grow and the amount of incredible talent that has been shared after just a week is literally mind blowing. I really wasn’t expecting such an amazing response so quickly, but it clearly proves a cultural hub like this was long overdue.

This last week has been a real test for me, and my mental health. I’ve spent over six months off work recovering and tried to avoid stressful situations.

In the space of a couple of weeks I’ve got two jobs and a volunteer role compounded with the general anxiety of the dreaded ‘rona. Dan seems to think I’ve taken on too much, he’s probably right, I might need to knock the volunteering in the head when I start the Sister’s post. Something will have to give, and I don’t want to risk it being my sanity again.

Three days left on the countdown.

Shit.

I think I’ve perhaps used this project as a way of distracting myself from going back to nursing. Although I applied for this job before Covid-19 was on our radar, the job description has morphed into something completely different. The ward is no longer for elective orthopaedics – I’m not sure yet what I’ll be walking into. There is high chance with my experience in A&E and particularly resuscitation, might mean a move to their Emergency Department. They may feel with me being a new starter it’s better to keep me on the ward?

Who knows. It feels pointless to try and plan for an situation I have very little control over – at the end of the day I will go where I’m most needed.

I had the most wonderful rant to my friend about it all today – she has been such an amazing support for me over the last year. Everyone needs a Lana in their life. What’s clear is my worries are not mine alone, and we’re all in this together. The same sense of moral obligation, professional duty, and a slight disregard for our own safety.

I‘m obviously raging that we are hearing reports of staff that aren’t properly protected – but more because of the risk to our families than ourselves. Both of us said that until our loved ones started to express concern, we hadn’t taken the personal risk all that seriously. Although in our personal experience so far the protection has been adequate, with or without PPE there is still risk. There’s not much that shocks us, especially as ED nurses, we’re used to wading through whatever is thrown at us – even when it’s bodily fluids. So we will just crack on, as we always do.

What is also interesting is we both expressed such gratitude that we were finally being respected, for our craft and our commitment to caring for people. The many initiatives like the #ClapforourCarers campaign which seemed to gain an even bigger response this week, there’s also been so many offers of donations – literally anything from PPE to pizzas.

It’s definitely a massive boost to morale and to be honest just so lovely that people care. It’s just a real shame our government isn’t echoing the same sentiment.

As I’ve said before I’m not at all surprised at how this situation has been dealt with by our leaders, their track record with the NHS didn’t fill me with any confidence.

Mainly dread.

I think it’s the lack of control that’s most frustrating, we are merely numbers, if even that. Matt Hancock this week had no idea how many nurses had tested positive for Covid, or even how many had died. Reduced to a collective “many”. Now I don’t want to plagiarise Corbyn, but we are the many, and they are the few.

It’s about time we showed them.

The unions response to the PPE issue has been mixed – RCN the main one for nursing has been pretty quiet about it all, Unison have finally pulled their finger out and started a service for reporting a lack of PPE. What neither of them seem to be doing is fighting the system on their ridiculous guidance which is putting us all at risk, the basic requirements are unsafe.

They changed the advice again this week – so staff working in a bay of patients diagnosed with covid-19 are ‘safe’ to work in a surgical mask (1 worn all shift), normal gloves, flimsy plastic apron and eye protection.

These could be coughing, grabbing out at you, agitated etc, I’ve heard reports of patients spitting on the floor in front of the nurses station. What I find amusing is that you watch news reports in other countries and police officers, shop workers along with the hospital staff are all wearing ffp3 masks with a vent. Then you’ve got a nurse stuck in a room with multiple positive patients in a surgical mask – which we were all told were ineffective even for the public less than a month ago.

As I’ve said before the problem is we don’t make anything ourselves in this country, and it’s left us up the creek with no PPE. I thought they might have been able to get factories here to start producing equipment to help us out, but they haven’t even managed to do that efficiently. With accounts of companies essentially begging the Government to allow them to start production, and the powers that be dragging their heels long enough to keep us unsafe for when the peak hits.

Ideal.

This has really shown the ineffectiveness of the procurement process and the supply chain, even with ridiculously low requirements for PPE, they still can’t even manage that. To be honest hospitals are probably better off, they are used to acquiring that type of stock. It’s the community services which are really struggling, many are being expected to work with little to no protection.

What’s worrying is our risk of increased exposure – I would really recommend having a read of Dhushyanthan Surendra Kaur’s thoughts on Viral load, he explains it brilliantly.

I’ll add a link to his Facebook post about it - https://www.facebook.com/1015734858/posts/10219435741416972/?d=n

After reading that you’ll understand my increasing concerns about the lack of PPE, it’s like sending a soldier to war with a water gun.