29th March 2020

I can feel myself getting stressed again the last few days, such a weird feeling – kind of like you’re imploding, everything is tense, and there’s no room in your brain for much other than your own thoughts.

It’s easy to lose yourself down the rabbit hole. You slip, one negative thought quickly escalates and weaves it’s own tapestry. If you let yourself, you can create your own Bayeux.

I look forward to writing this blog each night now, it’s become a way of organising my feelings, once I’ve written things down I no longer need to spend time worrying about them.

I genuinely feel like having my mental breakdown last year completely changed my life and the way I live it.

I don’t think I would have prioritised the time to sit and be creative, I always felt too busy, too tired, too stressed.

I really hope I don’t revert back to that mentality when I go back to work, I said this to my counsellor. She said something that stayed with me “You are the person in control of time and what you spend it on” (This was obviously before Covid-19 hit). I am making a commitment to maintaining my creative outlets when I go back to work, I won’t allow the NHS or Corona to steal that.

What’s interesting is that everyone else (who isn’t a key worker) will be given the chance I was last year.

Our lives are SO frantic that we rarely get the opportunity to challenge and develop ourselves creatively.

When did you last make something other than the dinner?!

We have been awarded this once in a lifetime opportunity to explore a side of us that has been neglected for most of our adult lives. I’m so glad I had that chance this past year, my brain is so much clearer, my life feels so much brighter and there is a fulfilment which brings such peace.

I urge everyone to use this time wisely, and to see the priceless silver lining in this situation.

What we need to cling on to – is community. There will be so many people who feel alone during this, but we’re all going through the same thing, and in a weird way we’ve never been so connected.

The Sitting Rooms of Culture project is a way for Coventry to respond to this crisis collaboratively, to maintain and encourage relationships between members of the community.

I’m keeping everything crossed we hear good news tomorrow about the funding and can get cracking with it all.

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