27th March 2020

I confirmed my start date today.

We’ve been waiting to hear back about funding for our ‘Sitting Rooms of Culture’ project, after a really positive meeting today I thought we would get it. They’ve now asked us to wait until Monday, which under normal circumstances would be fine, actually it would be close to a miracle. However time is not on our side, dunno if they noticed but there’s a pandemic on the go and my obligation lies with the NHS. I’m desperate to get this off the ground before I start, but this process is excruciatingly long winded - even in the current climate. So I’ve agreed a start date with the hospital which means I start earlier than planned, but will hopefully allow me enough time to launch the project.

7th of April. 10 days.

Squeaky bum time.

My parents are worrying about me going back. My relationship with my Dad has been strained for a while (long story – i’d need a whole new blog to explain that one) but he phoned me, clearly concerned.

Being ex-fire service he knows the score, I think he said something like “if they aren’t giving you the right PPE you should refuse to go in” But he knows we wouldn’t do that.

My mum has been desperately buying what she can for me in terms of protective gear off eBay. The ffp3 masks with a vent you see people wearing in other countries are pretty much unavailable here, the ones we found on there were extortionate – 10 for £350! I have opted for the ffp2’s and bought extra filter inserts – not ideal, but better than the surgical masks which are now apparently safe for us.

I would say that I’m shocked that we’re reduced to searching for our own protective equipment, but with this government and the NHS as my employer, I’m sadly not.

They argue that guidance has changed due to understanding the virus better, I argue it’s changed because there is a global shortage of masks and we make very few of our own.

Today the Health and Social Care committee held a hearing to discuss this issue, and despite our profession being the largest group in the NHS workforce, Nurses were excluded from the conversation. Again, I’m not surprised. You would have thought with all this going on, they would have dropped their hierarchical attitudes and realised who has the experience, knowledge and skills to provide them with factual evidence.

But who am I?!

I won’t be holding my breath to see what happens in response to this hearing today, although I might have to practice holding it when I’m nursing patients. Sorry, couldn’t help myself. In all seriousness, I am worried. It’s not just that they will be putting me at risk, they will be putting my family at risk. When I look at this situation and how it pans out, I expect we will be harmed by lack of equipment, protective or otherwise. I imagine there would be an enquiry into the failings and ‘lessons learned’ but that will come to late for us, we will be the mistake they learn from. And we can only hope they learn.

Irrelevant of that, I WILL be starting my new role in ten days.

Yay.

Please stay indoors so I don’t end up seeing you or your family whilst I’m there. Sorry this was a bit of a depressing one.