1st May 2020

Tory maths

you have to laugh

turning graphs

to hieroglyphs

so they don’t have to admit

the mess we’re in.

They can’t count

and we can’t count

on them.

Fifty thousand nurses

were promised

but that figure consisted

of staff that already existed.

Manipulation

of simple equations

to provide a narration

aimed

to hoodwink a nation.

One hundred thousand tests

available to any key worker who requests

but the amount that tried to get one

literally crashed the internet.

What did you expect?

I expected nothing less,

than empty promises

which end up feeling like threats.

So they announce today

Hooray

we’ve fiddled you again

sent out kits in the mail

but counted them all the same.

You might need to invest in some calculators,

Or maybe just in people who respect the fact that we have brains,

and enough of a labour education

to be able to see through

your dodgy equations,

You should be ashamed.

Making false claims

to distract

from the fact

that you failed.

Yet again.