This morning I finished a night shift, and although back in tonight and really should have gone straight to bed – I needed to get this out.
I’m fuming.
There’s been a few events this week which have riled me up, all political, it’s hard to know where to start.
I guess I’ll begin with a missed opportunity. I was asked to be interviewed on BBC Breakfast to talk about The Laura Hyde foundation – the charity I work with and our shared cause of improving mental health support for NHS staff. Although the BBC bumped our interview for something they thought more interesting, I’d checked with my workplace if it would be OK. There is a process of gaining permission from the Trust which I followed, and it was a comment during this communication which typified the censorship we face. In fairness I was given permission to go ahead with the interview, and the Trust have been amazingly supportive of my campaign for mental health support. However it was made clear I should not enter into any debate of a political nature and in particular PPE. When I first read the message I think I probs rolled my eyes and thought that was fair enough, but on reflection it began to niggle at me.
I just kept thinking “Why?”.
Why aren’t we allowed to voice our opinion?
These decisions have such an enormous impact on us and our profession, yet we sit mute and just accept the consequences. This sense of duty that comes along with nursing, an expectation to tow the line in the name of professionalism. But I didn’t train to be a puppet. I didn’t sign away my rights to free speech when I registered as a nurse – but it seems that is what is expected of us. I know there are many of us posting on social media, but who is really shouting for us on the main stage? Ruth May and Jenny Harries are doing nothing to hold the government to account and are in fact perpetuating their misleading rhetoric. I’d like to say they were misinformed, but you only need to speak to your staff on the frontline to know the truth. The unions have been useless, where is the fight?
This has been made even more obvious seeing the Teaching Unions rise up this week and refuse to allow schools to open on the 1st of June. Finally someone with some balls. Thank the bloody lord. For a while I wondered if we had actually all been infected with some weird virus that rendered everyone passive brainwashed robots. It’s interesting now they are putting kids and teachers at risk it’s an issue worth fighting for, when it’s Healthcare staff and the elderly then we’re just collateral damage. Made even more evident with Trump’s recent comment about us “running into bullets like soldiers” – literally calling us cannon fodder. It’s nice to know the value placed on our lives. They may regret that attitude and decision making when half of us are dead and the other half have decided to leave.
The problem is that Schools are in a much better position than us to say no. They can keep their doors closed without thousands of people dying. This is the barrel we are held over, our humanity. None of us would walk out now, not on mass anyway. What leverage do we really have that is impactful? I will keep shouting to anyone that listens, but what difference is that really going to make? I am already thinking about leaving nursing once this crisis is over, and it’s a shame because I am enjoying my new post and really like the Trust I’ve joined.
I just don’t want to work for the government anymore.
I don’t trust them.
I don’t respect them.
I don’t want to be beholden to them in this way.
I’m under no illusion that a part of me will always be under their thumb, but hopefully not in such an overwhelming manner. I just find it incredulous that these people who are so under qualified in the fields of expertise they control, have the power they do. The lack of transparency is shocking, especially for someone in my field who is so regulated to ensure duty of candour. Yet these “professionals” are free to brazenly falsify facts and figures to suit their agenda and detract from criticism.
The latest is their counter argument for an increase in Nurses wages, apparently we had a 15% pay rise last year – this is NOT TRUE. The government have stated there will actually be a pay freeze for the next 2 years. Just what you want to hear when you’re risking your life for the job. The hypocrisy of them all standing clapping on their doorsteps, whilst undermining the value of our work is deafening. Even after Boris had firsthand experience of the work we do, and apparently saved his life, there is no commitment from him to ensure we are adequately funded in the future. Privatisation is still happening. We are still struggling.
They pretend that we’re coping with this added pressure, in reality this is only because almost every other service we provide has ceased. We are worried about a second wave, we are worried about winter, we are worried that this might not ever go away.
It seems all our government is worried about is our economy, and making sure football restarts soon.